On Being a Mom

I always wanted to be a mom. I made some pretty stupid choices in my haste to make that happen. But God being what He is, redeemed my stupidity. I got pregnant easily. I have such deep empathy for those for whom that is not the case....I did not deserve the gift that God would slip inside my young and naive womb. I lost two before I would know the joy that would come with holding my son. I was literally terrified I would have a daughter, the result of a very difficult relationship with my own mother. I will save this for future blogs.....We named him Nathaniel which means "gift from God." How appropriate, he is just that.

I know that I would not have experienced the character growth that I have if I had not gone through the sacrificial experience of motherhood. I was a selfish, immature child. My son was born and it wasn't about me anymore. God provided me the profound opportunity to be what I always thought a mom should be. I have failed time and time again, but my children love me anyway. How much more like Christ are they? How much easier do they forgive and wipe my slate clean? I have learned a lot from my boys. I have been sanctified through my children.

I was thinking about Eve and the fall. There were consequences for her choices, for all of us. Can you imagine how Eve must have felt? I can only image, but she must have felt a lot of guilt. That would be a pretty heavy burden to bear, don't you think? But God LOVED her. He loved her enough to die for her. There would come a day when God would use another women, in another time, to redeem EVERYTHING!! Just one young woman and God. A woman, Eve, made a choice and turn from a perfect relationship with God. But God would use one woman, Mary, to bring us a Savior and make restoration of that perfect relationship possible.

Redemption is hard. Jesus knows.